Welcome to the fourth edition of Dipper’s Quips, an “advice” column from the other half of this website, the dog. Expect diatribes from Dipper about the evils of squirrels and commentary on his anti-social nature. We’re not responsible for what happens if you take my dog’s “advice.”
What are your summer plans, Dipper? – Emily K.
D: Well, if it were up to me, I’d spend the next three months on the sofa in a temperature controlled enrivonment. You know, as nature intended. Alas, it is not to be. A certain somebody thinks I need “fresh air.” So instead of my plans, we’ll be spending the summer going to the park (ugh), various yappy hours (uuugh), and dog-friendly festivals (uuuugh!). Tori likes to plan, so you can find our full schedule of events HERE.
But wait! There’s more. Not only is Tori going to drag me away from my beloved sofa, she’s going to drag me out of my cherished city. Woe is me, as Tori loves the beach! She insists on visiting the Wildwood Dog Beach. Admittedly, I’ve had a good time there in the past, but this year, she wants to spend an entire weekend there! She’s gone as far as researching dog-friendly motels, like the Tide Winds Motel, Surf 16 Motel, and Rus Mar Motel.
Tori says it’s all so we can go to the Gone to the Dogs event at Morey’s Piers Raging Waters Waterpark. I have no idea what any of those words mean, but they terrify me. I just want to sleep—and maybe chase a squirrel or two.